Japanese Grammar

Giving and Receiving

In English, 'give' and 'receive' are simple. In Japanese, the verb changes depending on WHO is giving to WHOM, and whether the action moves toward or away from the speaker.

The Direction of the Action

To choose the right verb, imagine yourself in the center of a circle. Everything moving OUTWARD (from you to others) uses one verb. Everything moving INWARD (from others to you) uses another.

あげる (Ageru): I give to someone. (Moving OUTWARD).

くれる (Kureru): Someone gives to ME. (Moving INWARD).

もらう (Morau): I receive from someone. (Focuses on the receiver's perspective).

How to use them

あげる (Ageru) - I give to you/him/her
Particle Rule
→Giver は + Receiver に + Object を + あげる
Giver is the subject (wa)
私は友達に花をあげる
→Watashi wa tomodachi ni hana o ageru
I give flowers to my friend
くれる (Kureru) - Someone gives to ME
Particle Rule
→Giver は + 私に + Object を + くれる
Giver is still the subject, but receiver MUST be 'me' (or my in-group)
友達は私に花をくれる
→Tomodachi wa watashi ni hana o kureru
My friend gives flowers to me
もらう (Morau) - I receive from someone
Particle Rule
→Receiver は + Giver に(から) + Object を + もらう
Receiver is the subject (wa)
私は友達に花をもらう
→Watashi wa tomodachi ni hana o morau
I receive flowers from my friend

Combining with the Te-Form (Doing favors)

私は友達を手伝ってあげました。
Watashi wa tomodachi o tetsudatte agemashita.
I helped my friend. (I did the favor of helping)
友達は私を手伝ってくれました。
Tomodachi wa watashi o tetsudatte kuremashita.
My friend helped me. (They did the favor for me)
私は友達に手伝ってもらいました。
Watashi wa tomodachi ni tetsudatte moraimashita.
I had my friend help me. (I received the favor of their help)

Teacher's Advice

The 'Ageru' Trap

Be very careful when using '~te ageru' (doing a favor for someone). Saying '手伝ってあげる' (I will help you) can sound incredibly arrogant, like 'I am gracing you with my help.' To offer help politely, just use the normal verb: '手伝いましょうか' (Shall I help?).

JLPT Exam Patterns

  • •Choosing the right verb based on the particles: 'X は 私に ...' MUST take くれる (N4)
  • •Choosing the right verb based on the particles: '私は X に ...' takes あげる or もらう (N4)
  • •Respectful/Humble equivalents: さしあげる (humble ageru), くださる (respectful kureru), いただく (humble morau) (N4/N3)

Related Grammar

Polite Requests: 〜てください (~te kudasai)
Grammar guide →
The Ultimate Particles Cheat Sheet
Grammar guide →
Expressing Desire: The 〜たい (~tai) Form
Grammar guide →
See the full JLPT N5 grammar roadmap →

Master the Directions

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